Dear Body

Dear body, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I’ve hated you. I’m sorry that it’s been so hard for me to love you, to love you just the way you are.

I’m sorry for always trying to change you. I’m sorry for telling you that you’re ugly, for telling you that you disgust me. I’m sorry for wishing you were somebody else.

Dear body, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for starving you and for overfeeding you. I’m sorry for overworking you, over-exercising you, for pushing you way too hard.

I’m sorry for not nourishing you as you deserve. I’m sorry for medicating you, for intoxicating you, for numbing you. I’m sorry for hurting you, for betraying you, for abusing you.

I’m sorry for trying to mold you into something you’re not. I’m sorry I got sucked into believing that photoshopped bodies were real and attainable. I’m sorry I believed the hurtful things others have said about you.

I’m sorry for having you cut open and stitched back up. I’m sorry for having you injected, stretched, pulled, taken apart, and put back together.

Dear body, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that throughout your existence I’ve hated every part of you, every inch of you.

I’m sorry I’ve hated the hair on your head, the hair on your face and on your body, I’m sorry I’ve constantly hurt you by plucking and pulling, lasering and waxing.

I’m sorry I’ve suppressed your sweat and smell with toxic chemicals, deodorants, and perfumes. I’m sorry you’ve had to inhale and absorb dangerous toxins into you.

I’m sorry I never thought you were pretty enough, gorgeous enough, or beautiful enough.

I’m sorry I’ve always wanted to change you, change your skin, your nose, your eyes, your lips, your teeth, your chin, your cheeks, your forehead, your ears. I’m sorry for obsessing over your symmetry.

I’m sorry I’ve hated your breasts, your bum, your legs, your hands, your feet, your belly, your back, your arms, your stretch marks, your scars, your spots, your cellulite, and everything in between.

I’m sorry for covering you up, with makeup, with dye, with clothes, with darkness, so nobody would see, nobody would see the real you. I’m sorry for making you think that the real you would make people run away. I’m sorry for telling you lies.

Dear body, you’ve always been there for me, even when others have left. You’ve always been loyal, you’ve always fought for me.

Despite what I’ve put you through, you still give me life. Yet you still survive, and yet you still keep going, keep powering along, keep my heart beating, keep my lungs breathing.

Yet you keep recovering, keep healing, keep forgiving me, yet you never give up, you’re always there, always on my side, always by my side, always faithful.

Dear body, I’m sorry.


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